Forced to sex....
Let's face it. The most common sexual fantasy among women (submissive or not) is the one about forms of forced sex. Commonly known as "the rape fantasy". This almost automatically turns it into a tool to use for the master. But ....... the fact that it is a common fantasy doesn't make it an easy tool. On the contrary in fact. Sexual shaming is extremely powerful and not without risk.
Warning
First of all this: sexual shaming is not something for incidental contacts or one night stands. The reason: the risks - for the dominant especially - are simply too high. it is not unlikely (in fact this happens frequently) that women - in the heat of the moment - will allow things they will later regret. And since sexual shaming is very close to actual rape or sexual assault, it is not entirely unlikely they may file charges the day after. Even if nothing against her will happened, that is not something you want to have to go through. At times, dominants should protect themselves. Especially when it comes to incidental situations.
What is sexual shaming?
The problem is: what is considered to be shameful or embarrassing is very personal and - as a result - varies from person to person. What may be "peanuts" for one may be extremely shameful to the other. Oral or anal sex for example are "it" to one woman and an "absolute not" to another. Even simpler sex, such as being called a "slut" or a "whore" or having to dress sexy may actually appeal to one (i.e. to her is not shameful at all) while another may consider this to be extremely humiliating or even insulting. Hence, this is an area to approach with care.
This is another reason why sexual shaming is not something for one night stands. Simply because the dominant has to know what is shameful and what is not, in order to be able to actually use the impulse. In fact, if she likes to be called a slut, doing that may be entirely counter=productive if your goal is to use the shame-impulse.
Forced to sex
In other words, getting to know your partner/slave is paramount, when it comes to this. Which is actually true for most forms of "mental play". If you do not know what is going on in her mind, the chances of actually hitting the right button are very low. And the chances of hitting the wrong button are extremely high. You may easily hit a "turn off" button and in many cases you may stumble on some hidden fear, a trauma or simply a bad dream.
The sexual victim fetish
The Internet has brought about the "sexual victim fetish". Now what exactly is that? Well, chat boxes and boards especially are packed with submissives who "compete" against each other. While there are of course real victims of sexual trauma, research has shown that there aren't any more, nor any less, within the BDSM community than there are in any other social group. But if you were to believe chat boxes, nearly every submissive woman seems to have a trauma. This is simply not the case. In fact, quite a few of these stories are made up - more or less out of "competition" reasons. That makes it very difficult for dominants to establish whether there is a real trauma or not. Rule of thumb: most real victims usually do not talk about it, at least not easily.
|
| Links & webmasters | Contact Us | About us | Privacy | Terms | FAQ | Add feedback | Invite a friend | Bookmark |